9/4/2008 - Best of friends after 50 years
Petaluma’s first foreign-exchange student returns to visit her host
By Connie Madden
For the Argus-Courier
Karin Michaelis-Jahnke was just 17 when she took a boat from Germany to Petaluma to come to live with Bea Gaffney and her family, becoming our town’s first foreign exchange student through the American Field Service.
Karin recalls being selected by the AFC Intercultural Program partly because she had a good grade average but also because she was expected to connect well with her American colleagues and be a sort of German ambassador to U.S. schools.
Lifelong Petaluma resident Bea Gaffney recalls sharing not only her home and her horses, but also her bedroom with Karin 50 years ago.
Karin arrived in Petaluma last weekend for a reunion with Bea.
Recalling their budding friendship in 1958, Bea says that at first she had some difficulty getting used to sharing her private space as she had been used to being the center of attention at lots of sporting activities, including horseback riding and swimming. But now there was this other young woman living with her, and Karin was drawing a lot of attention to herself with tales of Germany and her family’s escape from communism in East Germany, where her father’s business had been seized when Karin was only 12 years old.
Though the two girls were competitive in sports at first, eventually they found a mutual love in tennis and played doubles regularly, and added swimming to the mix. Karin got by on $12 a month spending money and occasional letters from the love of her life, her husband-to-be Norbert, then 18.
It was a great adventure coming over by boat, says Karin. The Argus-Courier published an article about her stay and students, teachers, women’s clubs and others asked her to speak to them about what it was like to live in Germany — and what it had been like to escape East Berlin.
She left her home with just a backpack like she was walking down the street on a normal day, with her mother leaving for another destination with her baby brother wrapped only in a blanket so they wouldn’t appear to be leaving. “It was a terrifying experience,” relates Karin, but they were able to return to their original home after many years.
Eventually, Karin received a Ph.D. in general education from a school in Heidelberg. She wanted to counterbalance the strict German educational system that she felt contributed to the authoritarian thinking that could allow for the growth of the communist administration in East Germany. She was determined to help foster independent thinking and a sense of freedom among German youth.
This week’s 50th anniversary visit is particularly special for Bea and her husband, Dan Gaffney, and Karin and her husband, Norbert Jahnke, as the four plan an RV trip up through the California redwoods, with Karin and Norbert later traveling on to Seattle. Sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, the two families have visited each other several times over the past half-century, traveling back and forth between the two countries, offering their homes for visits from nearly every family member.
Several years ago, Bea’s son and daughter even had their bicycles shipped to Germany, traveling from their “second home” through not only Germany, but also France on that trip.
Karin and Bea have fond memories of several Petaluma High School teachers, but especially of Mr. Stopsky, who they credit with making students think for themselves. They agree that he was a vibrant, excellent teacher they would have loved to meet with again, but they lost touch with him.
How have things changed in Petaluma? Karin and Bea walked past Petaluma High School on Sunday, and Karin asked what happened to the stairs. The two realized Karin had graduated in 1958 — from the old Petaluma High School, not this building.
The 50-year friendship “doesn’t seem that long,” according to both women — they never lost touch, even during the busiest years of their lives.
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